I Don’t Want a Funeral

By Lee Barringer

I have often heard these words in my thirty plus years of death care, and often my response is, “Then don’t have one.” Many people are uncomfortable with the word “Funeral”, and today we often prefer the term Memorial Service, Gathering or a Celebration of Life. 

It is in fact a new and more comfortable description of what we now do to honor our loved ones at the time of death. It is also important to note however, the difference between a funeral and memorial gathering.

A funeral is the observances held for the deceased usually before burial or cremation.  Where a Memorial Service or Celebration of Life, is most often the observances held for the deceased after burial or cremation, but much more often with the choice of cremation.

But words and their meanings are important, and not all deaths warrant a Celebration!  What I mean is that not every death is an opportunity for a joyous reflection of a good life, that has been well lived. We must also remember that there are tragic and sudden deaths, such as the loss of a child, or a death by accident, homicide, or suicide.  Not all deaths qualify for a celebratory event. Some are just honestly difficult, seem very unfair and change us forever.

Many Winnipeg families feel the “traditional funeral” and the funeral homes that furnish them have often failed to reflect the beliefs and values of a changing society. Which is why we often see the common phrase in obituary notices: “No funeral by request”

But let us remember that although we may no longer like the word funeral, nor it’s past associations. A gathering of family and friends was and is now arguably still an important time to acknowledge those that we have loved.

Today they are simply organized in a more creative and meaningful way, a way that will reflect both the beliefs and values of the family and the deceased. But this important ritual still allows us an opportunity to acknowledge a life lived, and the opportunity to say thank you and goodbye.

 Branch & Pyre Cremation Care

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